Clear Thought

While in the MTC I was trying to be perfect...not too unusual for me. I was human. I was trying to learn the Korean language. I was trying to be a perfect missionary with pure, perfect thoughts. I expected myself to have a perfect testimony. I wanted to remember every scripture, quote, concept that we were taught. etc. etc. Well...I kept failing. That was tough.

At some point, I don't remember which week, I was saying my personal evening prayers in Korean. I said, "I know thou doest love me." Immediately a very clear thought came to me, "Do you? Do you know I love you, daughter?" And then there was a feeling of 'because I do,' though there were no words. I started crying, of course...sort of like I am right now. I didn't know. I had been taught it my whole life, yet I did not know. I was trying to be perfect and was missing the main part of the gospel. God loves us. Me. Sometimes I still forget. When this happens I remember that night on the top bunk in an MTC dorm when Heavenly Father made sure I personally knew that He loved me. How grateful I am for the Holy Ghost and how He can teach and comfort us.